#23 Sean Kingston

Alright, this one's a doozie. "Hey y'all, Sean Kingston!" This guy provides the hard evidence for the theory that any artist who has to say their own name in their songs to sound different is an epic fail of an "artist." But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Sean Kingston is an advocate of one of the worst combinations in history: he's full of himself, and he's a complete idiot. Guess what his debut album was? Sean Kingston. The name of his first song on his first album? "Kingston."

But wait, it gets worse. Have you ever tried to look up his backstory of how his career got started? Of course not, because he a douche. But here it is: he claims he was born in the ghetto and was homeless and sleeping in cars after his father died and his mother was in jail, right? But after he grew up a bit, a record random record producer, who mysteriously turned out to be his rich uncle all along, decided he liked the way he rapped and decided to turn him into a pop music star. WTF?

Plus, he's the only artist we know of who has the nerve to not only rip off Led Zeppelin, but release it as a single. Every successful song he's had was a blatant rip off a classic song. Add the historic band The Del-Vikings (1957), Irene Cara's Academy award winning song "What a Feeling" (1984), and Ben E. King's classic "Stand By Me" (1961) to the already blasphemous ripping off of Led Zeppelin (just to name a few) onto the list of songs he's "sampled," and you've got yourself the biggest douche known to man.

Oh, but don't worry, it's not his fault because he doesn't actually posses the musical capacity to even write his music after stealing melodies and hooks from past musical geniuses. Just try and look at the guy and tell me he's not a douche. This guy deserves to die. I'd make fun of how fat he is, but that's mean to fat people everywhere for comparing him to them. In fact, it is our personal opinion that calling someone a "Kingston" is the only insult that can top the Sandlot's ultimate insult "you play ball like a girl." For the first time, I'm embarrassed to be a human being. Why? Because it's embarrassing to be in any way associated with the guy who's currently bringing up the rear of the human race, Sean Kingston. The happiest day of our lives so far was when he put himself in the hospital while he was being such an idiot that he crashed his jetski (with a girl on back) into an inanimate bridge.


SEAN KINGSTON, YOU ARE THE SOLE REASON I WOULD EVER BE RACIST.