#23 Sean Kingston

Alright, this one's a doozie. "Hey y'all, Sean Kingston!" This guy provides the hard evidence for the theory that any artist who has to say their own name in their songs to sound different is an epic fail of an "artist." But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Sean Kingston is an advocate of one of the worst combinations in history: he's full of himself, and he's a complete idiot. Guess what his debut album was? Sean Kingston. The name of his first song on his first album? "Kingston."

But wait, it gets worse. Have you ever tried to look up his backstory of how his career got started? Of course not, because he a douche. But here it is: he claims he was born in the ghetto and was homeless and sleeping in cars after his father died and his mother was in jail, right? But after he grew up a bit, a record random record producer, who mysteriously turned out to be his rich uncle all along, decided he liked the way he rapped and decided to turn him into a pop music star. WTF?

Plus, he's the only artist we know of who has the nerve to not only rip off Led Zeppelin, but release it as a single. Every successful song he's had was a blatant rip off a classic song. Add the historic band The Del-Vikings (1957), Irene Cara's Academy award winning song "What a Feeling" (1984), and Ben E. King's classic "Stand By Me" (1961) to the already blasphemous ripping off of Led Zeppelin (just to name a few) onto the list of songs he's "sampled," and you've got yourself the biggest douche known to man.

Oh, but don't worry, it's not his fault because he doesn't actually posses the musical capacity to even write his music after stealing melodies and hooks from past musical geniuses. Just try and look at the guy and tell me he's not a douche. This guy deserves to die. I'd make fun of how fat he is, but that's mean to fat people everywhere for comparing him to them. In fact, it is our personal opinion that calling someone a "Kingston" is the only insult that can top the Sandlot's ultimate insult "you play ball like a girl." For the first time, I'm embarrassed to be a human being. Why? Because it's embarrassing to be in any way associated with the guy who's currently bringing up the rear of the human race, Sean Kingston. The happiest day of our lives so far was when he put himself in the hospital while he was being such an idiot that he crashed his jetski (with a girl on back) into an inanimate bridge.


SEAN KINGSTON, YOU ARE THE SOLE REASON I WOULD EVER BE RACIST.

#22 Brogan Kelby

If we were to spell tool, we would spell it B-R-O-G-A-N. This kid sleeps with two of his teachers, and decides, I haven't had enough embarrassment, maybe I should start a music career. So he crawls up Todd Nuke'Em's butt hole, and becomes that guy that opens every X96 concert that everyone is like, "Man, we should have waited an hour, now we have to listen to Brogan Kelby..."

BROGAN KELBY, YOU'RE WORSE THAN NICKELBACK!

#21 Scott Gold

"I've never seen anyone get so horrendously schooled," as Bambi once said, regarding Scott Gold. Needless to say, we don't like him. We don't like him one bit. We don't like him so much that whenever we see him at the local Target marketplace (which is surprisingly often), we go find the nearest inflatable bouncy ball and throw it at him. This is a very true story and it has happened multiple times, because

SCOTT GOLD IS THE WORST.

#20 Death Cab For Cutie

Out favorite thing to listen to when we are relaxing is the sound of cats being spade and neutered, but since not many record stores sell CD's like that, we have to settle for Death Cab For Cutie. In all honesty though, if you wanted to listen to awful sounds, Death Cab is the band for you. We really don't know what Ben Gibbard was thinking. You have an amazing band like The Postal Service, that everyone loves, and you dump that project to start a band the mimics the sounds of whales giving birth. Not a smart move. We are not surprised Zooey Deschanel divorced your sorry butt. (Although, I [Dakota] have some bones to pick with She & Him)

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE CAN S OUR D'S!

#19 Dennis

We don't generally like making fun of nor bashing on our friends, but we both legitimately hate Dennis. We all thought he'd get better over time, but no. The worst part is when anyone tries to compare other people to Dennis. It's very insulting. Nobody could ever be so bad as decided to use even go want to do more like. Not even close. So,

WE LOVE PAT AND SHEA BUT WE HATE DENNIS.

#18 Country Music

You always wonder what people are thinking when they: a) Listen To b) Make or c) Promote country music. We don't want to put everyone that associates with country music into one category, but if we were to put them into a category, it would be: "People that were dropped on their heads, or people that only get one station on their radio." I [Dakota] am a little biased because I am forced to listen to country music 5 times a week, for extensive periods of time, but seriously, if I take a crap, give it a guitar, a dog, an unfaithful wife, and you could pass that off as a country singer, which means...

COUNTRY MUSIC ISN'T MUSIC.

#17 Internet Explorer

Look, if I wanted to run my internet as slow as it did back in the days of dial-up, I clearly wouldn't have downloaded all that ram. Some browsers aknowledge that Chrome is clearly better than them and try to imitate it. But with your massive toolbars

YOU'RE A FRIGGIN TOOL OF A BROWSER.

#16 The Stair Sitters

Do you remember back in high school how you could walk down stairs without tripping over douche-bags? We sure didn't. At our high school, we had a group we liked to refer to as "The Stair Sitters," and they insisted that they sit on a staircase during lunch that was a very popular staircase for walking. You would either have to go out of your way, or try and traverse your way through a sea of Preppy Dickholes. We just wanted to let "The Stair Sitters" know that

WE HATE YOUR GUTS AND WE THINK YOU (ALL) SUCK

#15 Ex-Girlfriends

Nothing ruins your entire high school experience quite like ex-girlfriends do. You're pretty much stuck in the same school as your new least favorite person in the entire world. But just one listen to Bowling For Soup will tell you that they don't get any better or any less annoying, even after high school.

THANK YOU FOR THE MISERABLE TIMES. WE REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

#14 Nicolas Cage

How does someone like Nicolas Cage live with himself? Granted that "Raising Arizona" snd "Adaptation" were decent movies, that doesn't give you an excuse to put us through the crap-fests that were: "Ghostrider", "American Treasure 2", "Lord Of War", "The Ant Bully", "The Weather Man", "Bangkok Dangerous", "G-Force", "Drive Angry", Trespass", "Season of The Witch", and of course, possibly one of the worst movies I [Dakota] ever had to sit through without giving into the urge to gouge my eyes out, "Knowing".

Nicolas Cage,
YOU ARE A WHORE.

#13 Mr. Kendall Summers

As if Jr. High wasn't bad enough. This guy locked up Harris for several days for no reason other than that he woke up on the normal side of the bed and decided to be a total dick. And like all adult dickheads, he pretends like he's completely sensible in any other setting other than school. Plus, rumor has it that he's behind creepy Facebook conspiracies.

DOUCHE.

#12 M. Night Shyamalan

Dear M. Night Shyamalan,
George and myself spent a total of $16.00 to see the midnight showing of "The Last Airbender". How do we get that money back? Do we email you personally, and you send us a check, or do we have to come to your house? Either way, we just wanted to let you know that

WE HATE YOU M. NIGHT DICKFACE.

#11 Mary Shelley

Mary Shelley's Frankenstein is the only book to record that I have ever read in its entirety and did not even somewhat enjoy. Plus she's a douche. I found this wretched book to be very melancholy, despite her benevolent attempts.

THERE'S MORE THAN 5 ADJECTIVES IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, YOU WHORE.

#10 Pat's Taste In Women

Pat's taste in women is like Nickelback--awful. Like Nickelback, we just wish he would stop producing really sucking girlfriends (or songs), and breakup (with them). Hey, don't feel bad though, we hear that online dating is pretty cool. Maybe you should try that, because


NICKELBACK SUCKS AND SO DOES YOUR CHOICE OF WOMEN.

#9 Jr. High Kids and Definitely Not That Smelly Half-Eaten Burrito I Left in the Badger for Over a Year

Jr. High kids are the only reason we've ever considered commiting suicide. They all smell like that one Badger Burrito that somehow managed to survive in a filing cabnet for an entire school year, summer vacation, and beyond (it might even still be there). Yet they aren't even a fraction as cool as Badger Borrito.

SCREW YOU, KIDS. PLUS, THAT BURRITO TASTED LIKE SHIZ BEFORE WE LEFT IT TO ROT FOR OVER A YEAR AND YOU'RE STILL NOT NEARLY AS COOL AS IT EVEN NOW.

#8 Montana

Personally, I think that Montana is the worst state in existence, and I know that George can agree with me on that one. After both losing multiple chances to get with the foxy ladies and after driving across the entirety of the state in one night, it definitely deserves a top spot on our list of things that we hate.

WE'RE NEVER DRIVING THROUGH YOU AGAIN.

#7 Mile 24

There's nothing quite as bad as mile 24. Absolutely nothing. Especially when there's no mile 25 sign to let you know that you're done with the horrendous mile 24. So really, the reason it sucks so bad is because mile 24 is

TWO FREAKING MILES. SCREW DAT.

#6 Brady Not Coming To TANKSGIVING

Both George and I agree that we secretly made this whole entire party just so that we could hang out with Brady. Yes, you, Brady! We cried ourselves to sleep that night after you didn't show up to our party. Pat had to rock us to sleep.

I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY. WE HATE THAT YOU DIDN'T COME. AND YOU.

#5 Not Nicté

Because we can't profess our love for her for various reasons, that leaves us very little room to work with. But at least we can still say that we don't hate her.

DON'T HATE THAT SHIZ.

#4 FauxCords

Today we were at a store looking at jackets and one of them was made from FauxCorduroy material. It was by far the most unpleasant part of our days, and possibly our whole lives.

SCREW THAT SHIZ.

#3 The First Cut is the Deepest

Seriously, who writes this shiz? The decision to add this to our hate list was basically unanimous. I never thought we'd say this, but shame on you, Cat Stevens. But more importantly:

SCREW YOU SHERYL CROWE.

#2 The Fact That Holiday Pies and Egg Nog Are Seasonal

Sure, if they were served year round, we might not appreciate them as much and we probably couldn't buy them every day. OH WAIT, ACTUALLY WE COULD.

SCREW YOU EGG NOG AND MCDONALD CORPORATIONS.

#1 Pearl Jam

Alright, so just Dakota really hates Pearl Jam, but it's not like I'm a big fan of them either. I just can't say I hate them that much since I don't know much about them. But for that same reason, I hate them.

BRING ON THE HATE.