#24 Eli Manning

I (Dakota) don't see myself as a sports expert, but when it comes to Eli Manning, we both agree that this dude is a douche in a douche. He's douche-ception.

    First of all, this man doesn't really do anything. He throws a ball in the general area of his receiver, and they have to go basically pull out a miracle to catch the ball. The crazy thing about it all, is that the receiver doesn't get the credit, Eli Manning gets all the praise. "Oh, Eli! You are so great at being a quarterback! Your receiver just made a one-armed catch. backwards, and upside down but it was your great pass that won the game!"

    Second, he is a Manning, so everything in the world is given to him. He could get away with murder by just telling the cop that he is a Manning, and then eating an Oreo. Guess what, we don't care that your family are all pro football players. Eli,
YOU AREN'T THE KING OF FOOTBALL!

#23 Sean Kingston

Alright, this one's a doozie. "Hey y'all, Sean Kingston!" This guy provides the hard evidence for the theory that any artist who has to say their own name in their songs to sound different is an epic fail of an "artist." But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Sean Kingston is an advocate of one of the worst combinations in history: he's full of himself, and he's a complete idiot. Guess what his debut album was? Sean Kingston. The name of his first song on his first album? "Kingston."

But wait, it gets worse. Have you ever tried to look up his backstory of how his career got started? Of course not, because he a douche. But here it is: he claims he was born in the ghetto and was homeless and sleeping in cars after his father died and his mother was in jail, right? But after he grew up a bit, a record random record producer, who mysteriously turned out to be his rich uncle all along, decided he liked the way he rapped and decided to turn him into a pop music star. WTF?

Plus, he's the only artist we know of who has the nerve to not only rip off Led Zeppelin, but release it as a single. Every successful song he's had was a blatant rip off a classic song. Add the historic band The Del-Vikings (1957), Irene Cara's Academy award winning song "What a Feeling" (1984), and Ben E. King's classic "Stand By Me" (1961) to the already blasphemous ripping off of Led Zeppelin (just to name a few) onto the list of songs he's "sampled," and you've got yourself the biggest douche known to man.

Oh, but don't worry, it's not his fault because he doesn't actually posses the musical capacity to even write his music after stealing melodies and hooks from past musical geniuses. Just try and look at the guy and tell me he's not a douche. This guy deserves to die. I'd make fun of how fat he is, but that's mean to fat people everywhere for comparing him to them. In fact, it is our personal opinion that calling someone a "Kingston" is the only insult that can top the Sandlot's ultimate insult "you play ball like a girl." For the first time, I'm embarrassed to be a human being. Why? Because it's embarrassing to be in any way associated with the guy who's currently bringing up the rear of the human race, Sean Kingston. The happiest day of our lives so far was when he put himself in the hospital while he was being such an idiot that he crashed his jetski (with a girl on back) into an inanimate bridge.


SEAN KINGSTON, YOU ARE THE SOLE REASON I WOULD EVER BE RACIST.

#22 Brogan Kelby

If we were to spell tool, we would spell it B-R-O-G-A-N. This kid sleeps with two of his teachers, and decides, I haven't had enough embarrassment, maybe I should start a music career. So he crawls up Todd Nuke'Em's butt hole, and becomes that guy that opens every X96 concert that everyone is like, "Man, we should have waited an hour, now we have to listen to Brogan Kelby..."

BROGAN KELBY, YOU'RE WORSE THAN NICKELBACK!

#21 Scott Gold

"I've never seen anyone get so horrendously schooled," as Bambi once said, regarding Scott Gold. Needless to say, we don't like him. We don't like him one bit. We don't like him so much that whenever we see him at the local Target marketplace (which is surprisingly often), we go find the nearest inflatable bouncy ball and throw it at him. This is a very true story and it has happened multiple times, because

SCOTT GOLD IS THE WORST.

#20 Death Cab For Cutie

Out favorite thing to listen to when we are relaxing is the sound of cats being spade and neutered, but since not many record stores sell CD's like that, we have to settle for Death Cab For Cutie. In all honesty though, if you wanted to listen to awful sounds, Death Cab is the band for you. We really don't know what Ben Gibbard was thinking. You have an amazing band like The Postal Service, that everyone loves, and you dump that project to start a band the mimics the sounds of whales giving birth. Not a smart move. We are not surprised Zooey Deschanel divorced your sorry butt. (Although, I [Dakota] have some bones to pick with She & Him)

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE CAN S OUR D'S!

#19 Dennis

We don't generally like making fun of nor bashing on our friends, but we both legitimately hate Dennis. We all thought he'd get better over time, but no. The worst part is when anyone tries to compare other people to Dennis. It's very insulting. Nobody could ever be so bad as decided to use even go want to do more like. Not even close. So,

WE LOVE PAT AND SHEA BUT WE HATE DENNIS.

#18 Country Music

You always wonder what people are thinking when they: a) Listen To b) Make or c) Promote country music. We don't want to put everyone that associates with country music into one category, but if we were to put them into a category, it would be: "People that were dropped on their heads, or people that only get one station on their radio." I [Dakota] am a little biased because I am forced to listen to country music 5 times a week, for extensive periods of time, but seriously, if I take a crap, give it a guitar, a dog, an unfaithful wife, and you could pass that off as a country singer, which means...

COUNTRY MUSIC ISN'T MUSIC.